don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
being pregnant is like rehab
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
