3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
