I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
