so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
