is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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