dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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