Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
