I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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