wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
