you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
