This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
