I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
They have beer where we have blood.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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