So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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