Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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