I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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