I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
