you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
