I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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