Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
