I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Panties = found
Randomize
