You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
