sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
