Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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