Got a toothbrush?
return my video game
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We have started to decorate penises.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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