So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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