WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
