I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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