Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My Sexting was not on an AP level
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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