awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
