he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
