i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
