the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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