just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
