All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
