i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
