Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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