do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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