Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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