Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
