i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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