there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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