I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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