my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
