They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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