Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just want nice things and good sex
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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