I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
