It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
