I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
