Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
