I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
