yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
